How about going with the flow in 2012?

Norma Desmond: You're a writer you said.

Joe Gillis: Why?

Norma Desmond: Are you or aren't you?

Joe Gillis: That's what it says on my Guild card.

Norma Desmond: And you have written pictures, haven't you?

Joe Gillis: I sure have, want a list of my credits?

Norma Desmond: I want to ask you something. Come in here.

Joe Gillis: Last one I wrote was about the Okies in the dust bowl. You'd never know it because when it reached the screen, the whole thing played on a torpedo boat.

Sunset Boulevard 1950

Life for Norma Desmond sure had it's highs and lows in this glamours classic film made some 60 years ago. Well past her prime, but unwilling to make the necessary adjustments to her current life's situation, she dreams of a come back. She hooks up with Joe Gillis, a down on his luck screenwriter, who views the opportunity of writing a screenplay with Norma as a vehicle to solve his debt problem. The ending is so Hollywood ... and this is a must see film to ponder how to bring in the New Year.

For me it brings up the conflict of accepting how situations change and then again, not giving up on our dreams. As the beginning of a New Year approaches, it's wonderful to define what dreams and goals one has. It's a great time to take some action and redefine what really will make 2012 a satisfying, productive and happy year.

It's always good to have a reality check ... like if you want to write a great screen play ... start with some paper. Too many people have lofty ideas, but never have a plan. It's important not to go through this journey alone, have a friend, mentor, coach who can help you realize your visions. Remember that Sunset Boulevard was just a film, and you can write your happy ending.

Cool Tip:

Start with small increments in 2012. Write and schedule your goals in a calendar ( a month at a time). Don't Delay The Happy !!

What Mask Are You Wearing .... for Halloween?

Kim: Hold me.

Edward: I can't.

Edward was indeed at a disadvantage in the holding department. This unfinished project of a mad scientist was left with sharp scissors as hands. Kim's mother (the local Avon lady) discovered him when she went to call on the creepy mansion where Edward lived. Knowing he was all alone, she invited him to live with her family and Edward and Kim (her daughter) became very fond of one another.

Edward Scissorhands, 1990

This is one of my favorite films, and especially relevant at this time of year. Not too scary, not too bloody, and it's got a moral compass worth thinking about. In this season of ghosts and goblins, it's helpful to think about what ghosts we carry around inside of us. How much power do they have over our every day happiness and contentment? Are they still going to be haunting us when next Halloween comes around?

Fear is a great theme on Halloween - but while it's fine for one day - there's the rest of the year to contend with. To let fear creep in, maybe in part because of some ghost of our past, is really an insult to our happiness. Sometimes it's good to put on a mask and pretend that you look different than they feel. Of course that mask should be a happy face - and while it may not be exactly as you feel, if you act as if, the feelings just might catch up. Scary, sour, bored faces really affect those around us. So if that's the "mask" you've got on, realize that might turn your loved ones into a frowning unhappy face too!

While Edward truly couldn't hold Kim, if there's anything you feel you can't do, I can help you look at the possibility of what might be holding you back. Coaching is a great tool to help examine your goals, dreams, and unfulfilled longings.

Cool Tip: Do a swap with your kid for all their Halloween Candy. I told my kid that he could switch his candy for a toy at the local toy store (with their help!) ... it worked and was worth not having a month of sugar highs !!

Principals for Labor Day

Terry Malloy: "I could have been a contenda"

In this classic award winning film Marlon Brando plays a dock worker. Concerned about getting a days work, he does not speak out about the deployable conditions and hiring practices at the dock. After witnessing some thugs murdering one of the workers he speaks out about the boss. Terry is beaten up by the doc thugs and denied work. The remaining doc workers refuse to work unless Terry is hired as well. A real Labor Day story.

Marlon Brando

On The Waterfront 1954

Terry became a man of principal after witnessing unspeakable conditions in his workplace. Now, for the normal person, in this day and age, the conditions surely aren’t as rough and on this Labor Day, it’s nice to give pause and think of all the people who have gone before us to make great changes.

What strikes me most about thinking about this film is Brando’s famous line “I could have been a contenda”.

Is there anything in your life that you feel you might have done better, explored more deeply, or ignored an opportunity? Some of us aren’t totally fulfilling the dreams that we’d had for ourselves. We’ve been forced, because of circumstances, life, marriage, children to reevaluate some of our goals and dreams. This is not a bad thing, and adapting to current realities is a healthy and realistic approach.

Brando didn’t live his dream of being a great prize fighter. Brando actually found deeper purpose when he confronted the intolerable conditions on the docks. This was his real “silver lining” to the cloud he carried ... not being a great boxer.

If you’ve been forced to re-invent yourself, this is a great time to look at what dreams you’ve had. It’s a time to incorporate them into your future plans. For many, this is a time of dark clouds, struggle about work, concerns about family and friends,

Coaching is one tool that can help you find your SMART dreams (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely). There is a silver lining and it will be revealed! Contact me and I'll help you discover it !

Cool Tip: To clean silver jewelry. Easy and fast, and all natural! Get a tin pie plate and line the bottom with aluminum foil. Sprinkle some baking soda on the tin foil, and lay your jewelry on it. Boil a little water and pour it over the tin foil. Voila! Your jewelry will be shiny in seconds.

Feelings About Father's Day

Annie Kinsella: Hey, what if the Voice calls while you're gone?

Ray Kinsella: Take a message

Field of Dreams 1989

Ray Kinsella had a father who seemed worn down by life. His passion was baseball and one of his heros, Shoeless Joe Jackson was banned after throwing the 1919 World Series. Ray now is a father himself, hears a voice in the cornfield of his Iowa farm ... and if you don't know how the story turns out, I highly recommend renting it!

Basketball was the sport of choice in my family and my dad, an avid fan. I doubt that he ever would have build a basketball court in our yard no matter what voices he heard! Ray Kinsella was different, he hears a voice and he follows it. He ignores criticism and pursues his dream. He puts the family farm in jeopardy, but continues on.

What dreams do you have? What voice are you ignoring? How would you choose to overcome any regrets that you might have in life. Is there a reconciliation that would really feel good (like Ray and his dad playing catch in the final scene?)

My dad would have loved this weeks Basketball Championship (even though he was really a Knicks fan!). I think of him and remember that I have no regrets in our relationship. He passed on his love for the game to my brother and I think he'd be very proud of me for becoming a Coach (even though it's not a sports Coach!!!)

Cool Tip: Need to spruce up your sneakers???? Use Simple Green ... works wonders.

Thinking About Mother's Day

Fidgity Elephant: Can you bear it? When she doused the ringmaster, I thought I'd just die.

Giddy: Well personally I think she went a bit too far.

Elephant Matriarch: Oh, you're right dear.

Giddy: Oh, well, I suppose thats mothers love.

Dumbo 1941

Dumbo was ridiculed by his circus friends, his mother's fierce love to protect him caused the circus ringmaster to lock her up, saying she was insane. Fortunately Dumbo had a mentor, surrogate, guide in Timothy Q Mouse. Timothy encourages Dumbo and convinces him that his big ears enable him to fly (with the help of a tiny white magic feather). Dumbo is forced to jump from a high platform and looses his feather on the way down. Timothy assures him that he really didn't need the feather after all. Dumbo trusts his friend and flies all around the Big Top. He becomes a star and media sensation. Dumbo and his Mother are reunited and are even given a private car on the circus train.

WOW, is this story loaded for me as I think about Mother's Day. Firstly I totally relate to Mrs. Jumbo. What Mother doesn't? When your kid is hurting the pain is usually as bad for you. That was never explained in any of the "How to Mother Manuals" that I read. It's a fact that reveals itself with on the job training. It's really intense - it's a visceral reaction to seeing someone that you care so deeply about suffer.

As a Mom I tried to do my best (being a single mom, a working mom, a newly remarried mom), life stuff happened as I was raising him - it was a balancing act, always. But the love that I have for my kid was and is just as powerful as what Mrs. Jumbo felt. My reaction would have been as extreme had I seen my son taunted. Maybe ! Of course there were times that I had to zip up my mouth and let life's lessons happen. You can't fight all of their battles. Luckily Dumbo had the support of his trusted friend Timothy. How fortunate that was, for even with a Mother's love, there are times that a friend, pal, confidant on our side really helps.

I'm also thinking about my Mother's love for me. She's been gone for over 5 years and I know she would have gone to the ends of the earth and back for me, if she could. Our relationship was not without complications .... because she cared so much, sometimes (especially as a teenager) I felt smothered (funny how the word mother is in smother!). As an adult she was interested in every event in my life, and because she cared and like Mrs. Jumbo had such a strong reaction to my stuff - I shielded her from some of the more challenging things that I was going through.

Like Dumbo (who balanced himself on top of a pyramid of elephants) it's important to find that balance. Letting our children make their decisions, live their life, finding a way to live ours, protecting them while they are young - but as they grow realize that they too have to find balance and learn to protect themselves.

I miss my Mom today, I miss her caring, her worrying, her love, her great sense of humor, her sense of style. As far as Mom's go - Mrs. Jumbo had nothing on her.

Cool Tip: Those thin disposable panty liners have a bunch of other uses. Use them for protection under arms, or even to line a hat. I line my riding helmet with them, front and back and just toss them when needed and replace!

Pondering Earth Day

Captain: Wait, that doesn't look like Earth.

Where's the blue sky?

Where's the grass?

Wall- E (2008)

In the movie Wall-E, a lone robot is left with the unthinkable task of cleaning up Earth. The Humans had left many hundreds of years before, and were floating around on a space ship, preparing for a return once Earth was all cleaned up. By this time, however, they were so obese that they could only lounge around on hover chairs. All their meals were delivered by straws. (YUCK).

On Earth, Wall-E shares his life with his only friend, a cockroach, and spends his time collecting artifacts and watching old VHS movies. One day he finds a small plant, and recognizing that is has some value, plants it in an old dirt filled shoe.

Eve, a reconnaissance Robot, is deployed from the space ship to see if there's any life form on Earth. Wall-E falls in love with Eve (Eveeeea), but she really is only interested in her mission. She gets wisked away back to the mother ship - with WALL-E hanging onto the side. A big adventure ensues and their fate is truly unclear.

If this isn't all totally depressing, the ending does have some hope, with Wall-E and Eve returning to Earth with the plant, to discover that outside the junk city, plants are beginning to grow. Eve reboots Wall-E and they fall in love - robot style and I'm thinking live happily ever after.

In recognition of Earth Day, it does give me time to pause and think about our valuable resources. How we need to appreciate what we have - always in life. How we shouldn't take things for granted. How we need to take care of the things that are important to us - both material things, and certainly our own bodies. Gratitude is a big helper ... feeling grateful for our place on this planet, honoring the many gifts we've all been given, and having respect for the Earth, can help prevent what Wall-E was faced with.

Being the good stewards of our Earth ... will make it a better place for those who come behind us. We owe them that !!!

Cool Tip: Instead of using ceramic pots for plants, use Ice Cream Containers. How fun will they all look - all the flavors and graphics ... and it's so good for our planet (maybe not our waistlines ... but in moderation - I say it's OK !)

Elwood P. Dowd: I always have a wonderful time, wherever I am, whomever I'm with.

Harvey (1950 Film with James Stewart)

Elwood P. Dowd was an incredibly optimistic man who believed that he was accompanied by a 6ft Tall White Rabbit named Harvey. No one actually sees Harvey, to Elwood he is quite real. Elwood's sister takes great offense with the notion of her brothers invisible friend and has Elwood committed to a local sanitarium. (In today's world he'd probably be admitted to some type of rehab but back then it was the classic mental hospital with the guys in white coats).Through out his entire ordeal Elwood never looses his conviction about having this invisible spirit besides him. In the end even the neigsayers aren't sure ... and you're left with the feeling that Harvey was indeed very real.

To have a sense of conviction and an optimistic attitude can only serve us well. To keep life going in a positive way, it's important to have a positive attitude. Our life is very much lived in our thoughts and perceptions. Have uplifting thoughts and you'll have a better day. Be cheerful and upbeat and you'll see the results. Keep those invisible negative pals away.

Call me crazy, but I too believe that there are spirits or forces that we actually don't see. I try really hard only to make friends with the good ones !!! So have a wonderful Easter in the Elwood P. Dowd tradition.

Cool Tip: If you've ever suffered with Hat Hair (under your Easter Bonnet or any other Bonnet) ... (for short hair) use a spray bottle of water to get rid of the effects , (for longer hair) try putting it in a scrunchy on top of your head before you wear your hat, baseball cap or riding helmet. If all else fails, dry shampoo can help.