What Mask Are You Wearing .... for Halloween?

Kim: Hold me.

Edward: I can't.

Edward was indeed at a disadvantage in the holding department. This unfinished project of a mad scientist was left with sharp scissors as hands. Kim's mother (the local Avon lady) discovered him when she went to call on the creepy mansion where Edward lived. Knowing he was all alone, she invited him to live with her family and Edward and Kim (her daughter) became very fond of one another.

Edward Scissorhands, 1990

This is one of my favorite films, and especially relevant at this time of year. Not too scary, not too bloody, and it's got a moral compass worth thinking about. In this season of ghosts and goblins, it's helpful to think about what ghosts we carry around inside of us. How much power do they have over our every day happiness and contentment? Are they still going to be haunting us when next Halloween comes around?

Fear is a great theme on Halloween - but while it's fine for one day - there's the rest of the year to contend with. To let fear creep in, maybe in part because of some ghost of our past, is really an insult to our happiness. Sometimes it's good to put on a mask and pretend that you look different than they feel. Of course that mask should be a happy face - and while it may not be exactly as you feel, if you act as if, the feelings just might catch up. Scary, sour, bored faces really affect those around us. So if that's the "mask" you've got on, realize that might turn your loved ones into a frowning unhappy face too!

While Edward truly couldn't hold Kim, if there's anything you feel you can't do, I can help you look at the possibility of what might be holding you back. Coaching is a great tool to help examine your goals, dreams, and unfulfilled longings.

Cool Tip: Do a swap with your kid for all their Halloween Candy. I told my kid that he could switch his candy for a toy at the local toy store (with their help!) ... it worked and was worth not having a month of sugar highs !!

Principals for Labor Day

Terry Malloy: "I could have been a contenda"

In this classic award winning film Marlon Brando plays a dock worker. Concerned about getting a days work, he does not speak out about the deployable conditions and hiring practices at the dock. After witnessing some thugs murdering one of the workers he speaks out about the boss. Terry is beaten up by the doc thugs and denied work. The remaining doc workers refuse to work unless Terry is hired as well. A real Labor Day story.

Marlon Brando

On The Waterfront 1954

Terry became a man of principal after witnessing unspeakable conditions in his workplace. Now, for the normal person, in this day and age, the conditions surely aren’t as rough and on this Labor Day, it’s nice to give pause and think of all the people who have gone before us to make great changes.

What strikes me most about thinking about this film is Brando’s famous line “I could have been a contenda”.

Is there anything in your life that you feel you might have done better, explored more deeply, or ignored an opportunity? Some of us aren’t totally fulfilling the dreams that we’d had for ourselves. We’ve been forced, because of circumstances, life, marriage, children to reevaluate some of our goals and dreams. This is not a bad thing, and adapting to current realities is a healthy and realistic approach.

Brando didn’t live his dream of being a great prize fighter. Brando actually found deeper purpose when he confronted the intolerable conditions on the docks. This was his real “silver lining” to the cloud he carried ... not being a great boxer.

If you’ve been forced to re-invent yourself, this is a great time to look at what dreams you’ve had. It’s a time to incorporate them into your future plans. For many, this is a time of dark clouds, struggle about work, concerns about family and friends,

Coaching is one tool that can help you find your SMART dreams (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely). There is a silver lining and it will be revealed! Contact me and I'll help you discover it !

Cool Tip: To clean silver jewelry. Easy and fast, and all natural! Get a tin pie plate and line the bottom with aluminum foil. Sprinkle some baking soda on the tin foil, and lay your jewelry on it. Boil a little water and pour it over the tin foil. Voila! Your jewelry will be shiny in seconds.

Feelings About Father's Day

Annie Kinsella: Hey, what if the Voice calls while you're gone?

Ray Kinsella: Take a message

Field of Dreams 1989

Ray Kinsella had a father who seemed worn down by life. His passion was baseball and one of his heros, Shoeless Joe Jackson was banned after throwing the 1919 World Series. Ray now is a father himself, hears a voice in the cornfield of his Iowa farm ... and if you don't know how the story turns out, I highly recommend renting it!

Basketball was the sport of choice in my family and my dad, an avid fan. I doubt that he ever would have build a basketball court in our yard no matter what voices he heard! Ray Kinsella was different, he hears a voice and he follows it. He ignores criticism and pursues his dream. He puts the family farm in jeopardy, but continues on.

What dreams do you have? What voice are you ignoring? How would you choose to overcome any regrets that you might have in life. Is there a reconciliation that would really feel good (like Ray and his dad playing catch in the final scene?)

My dad would have loved this weeks Basketball Championship (even though he was really a Knicks fan!). I think of him and remember that I have no regrets in our relationship. He passed on his love for the game to my brother and I think he'd be very proud of me for becoming a Coach (even though it's not a sports Coach!!!)

Cool Tip: Need to spruce up your sneakers???? Use Simple Green ... works wonders.

Thinking About Mother's Day

Fidgity Elephant: Can you bear it? When she doused the ringmaster, I thought I'd just die.

Giddy: Well personally I think she went a bit too far.

Elephant Matriarch: Oh, you're right dear.

Giddy: Oh, well, I suppose thats mothers love.

Dumbo 1941

Dumbo was ridiculed by his circus friends, his mother's fierce love to protect him caused the circus ringmaster to lock her up, saying she was insane. Fortunately Dumbo had a mentor, surrogate, guide in Timothy Q Mouse. Timothy encourages Dumbo and convinces him that his big ears enable him to fly (with the help of a tiny white magic feather). Dumbo is forced to jump from a high platform and looses his feather on the way down. Timothy assures him that he really didn't need the feather after all. Dumbo trusts his friend and flies all around the Big Top. He becomes a star and media sensation. Dumbo and his Mother are reunited and are even given a private car on the circus train.

WOW, is this story loaded for me as I think about Mother's Day. Firstly I totally relate to Mrs. Jumbo. What Mother doesn't? When your kid is hurting the pain is usually as bad for you. That was never explained in any of the "How to Mother Manuals" that I read. It's a fact that reveals itself with on the job training. It's really intense - it's a visceral reaction to seeing someone that you care so deeply about suffer.

As a Mom I tried to do my best (being a single mom, a working mom, a newly remarried mom), life stuff happened as I was raising him - it was a balancing act, always. But the love that I have for my kid was and is just as powerful as what Mrs. Jumbo felt. My reaction would have been as extreme had I seen my son taunted. Maybe ! Of course there were times that I had to zip up my mouth and let life's lessons happen. You can't fight all of their battles. Luckily Dumbo had the support of his trusted friend Timothy. How fortunate that was, for even with a Mother's love, there are times that a friend, pal, confidant on our side really helps.

I'm also thinking about my Mother's love for me. She's been gone for over 5 years and I know she would have gone to the ends of the earth and back for me, if she could. Our relationship was not without complications .... because she cared so much, sometimes (especially as a teenager) I felt smothered (funny how the word mother is in smother!). As an adult she was interested in every event in my life, and because she cared and like Mrs. Jumbo had such a strong reaction to my stuff - I shielded her from some of the more challenging things that I was going through.

Like Dumbo (who balanced himself on top of a pyramid of elephants) it's important to find that balance. Letting our children make their decisions, live their life, finding a way to live ours, protecting them while they are young - but as they grow realize that they too have to find balance and learn to protect themselves.

I miss my Mom today, I miss her caring, her worrying, her love, her great sense of humor, her sense of style. As far as Mom's go - Mrs. Jumbo had nothing on her.

Cool Tip: Those thin disposable panty liners have a bunch of other uses. Use them for protection under arms, or even to line a hat. I line my riding helmet with them, front and back and just toss them when needed and replace!

Pondering Earth Day

Captain: Wait, that doesn't look like Earth.

Where's the blue sky?

Where's the grass?

Wall- E (2008)

In the movie Wall-E, a lone robot is left with the unthinkable task of cleaning up Earth. The Humans had left many hundreds of years before, and were floating around on a space ship, preparing for a return once Earth was all cleaned up. By this time, however, they were so obese that they could only lounge around on hover chairs. All their meals were delivered by straws. (YUCK).

On Earth, Wall-E shares his life with his only friend, a cockroach, and spends his time collecting artifacts and watching old VHS movies. One day he finds a small plant, and recognizing that is has some value, plants it in an old dirt filled shoe.

Eve, a reconnaissance Robot, is deployed from the space ship to see if there's any life form on Earth. Wall-E falls in love with Eve (Eveeeea), but she really is only interested in her mission. She gets wisked away back to the mother ship - with WALL-E hanging onto the side. A big adventure ensues and their fate is truly unclear.

If this isn't all totally depressing, the ending does have some hope, with Wall-E and Eve returning to Earth with the plant, to discover that outside the junk city, plants are beginning to grow. Eve reboots Wall-E and they fall in love - robot style and I'm thinking live happily ever after.

In recognition of Earth Day, it does give me time to pause and think about our valuable resources. How we need to appreciate what we have - always in life. How we shouldn't take things for granted. How we need to take care of the things that are important to us - both material things, and certainly our own bodies. Gratitude is a big helper ... feeling grateful for our place on this planet, honoring the many gifts we've all been given, and having respect for the Earth, can help prevent what Wall-E was faced with.

Being the good stewards of our Earth ... will make it a better place for those who come behind us. We owe them that !!!

Cool Tip: Instead of using ceramic pots for plants, use Ice Cream Containers. How fun will they all look - all the flavors and graphics ... and it's so good for our planet (maybe not our waistlines ... but in moderation - I say it's OK !)

Elwood P. Dowd: I always have a wonderful time, wherever I am, whomever I'm with.

Harvey (1950 Film with James Stewart)

Elwood P. Dowd was an incredibly optimistic man who believed that he was accompanied by a 6ft Tall White Rabbit named Harvey. No one actually sees Harvey, to Elwood he is quite real. Elwood's sister takes great offense with the notion of her brothers invisible friend and has Elwood committed to a local sanitarium. (In today's world he'd probably be admitted to some type of rehab but back then it was the classic mental hospital with the guys in white coats).Through out his entire ordeal Elwood never looses his conviction about having this invisible spirit besides him. In the end even the neigsayers aren't sure ... and you're left with the feeling that Harvey was indeed very real.

To have a sense of conviction and an optimistic attitude can only serve us well. To keep life going in a positive way, it's important to have a positive attitude. Our life is very much lived in our thoughts and perceptions. Have uplifting thoughts and you'll have a better day. Be cheerful and upbeat and you'll see the results. Keep those invisible negative pals away.

Call me crazy, but I too believe that there are spirits or forces that we actually don't see. I try really hard only to make friends with the good ones !!! So have a wonderful Easter in the Elwood P. Dowd tradition.

Cool Tip: If you've ever suffered with Hat Hair (under your Easter Bonnet or any other Bonnet) ... (for short hair) use a spray bottle of water to get rid of the effects , (for longer hair) try putting it in a scrunchy on top of your head before you wear your hat, baseball cap or riding helmet. If all else fails, dry shampoo can help.

Girl: How come you don't play (your music) during the daytime? I see you here everyday.

Guy: During the daytime people would want to hear the songs that they know, just songs that they recognize. I play these songs at night or I wouldn't make any money. People wouldn't listen.

Girl: I listen.

Once

This quote was from the 2007 film set in Dublin (now that's a St Patrick's Day Tie-In!). The story was one of two individuals who share a passion for music. They have a romantic interlude, and it looks like it may be a happy ending for the two of them together ... but because of complications and former involvements their paths part. She couldn't follow him to London,, where he was pursuing his music, because she had a little kid and an estranged husband - who she then reconciled with.

The two lessons for me in this film, are to follow your dreams and to be responsible to your obligations. It truly is possible.

Following your passion is essential to having a truly meaningful life. It's not a selfish thing, because the happier you are the happier you can be for the people around you. Sometimes finding a passion isn't so easy ... but with some introspection and sometimes some guidance, there's passion inside all of us.

Cool Tip: See the movie Once (it has an amazing soundtrack) and if you're GREEN with ENVY - find another color !!!

Wilma Dean: (voiceover) Though nothing can bring back the hour of splendor in the grass, glory in the flower, we will grieve not: rather find strength in what remains behind.

Splendor In The Grass

We've all lost an hour last night (with the beginning of Day Light Savings),

fortunately we'll get that hour back in the fall. But there are many loses that are more difficult to recapture. The more you live life, the more losses you seem to accumulate. Now I'm not talking lost car keys or glasses (which seem to become more prevalent with the passage of time!), but rather the loss of loved ones, friendships, a relationship, beloved pets, a job, youthfulness.

Things change, losses occur, it's inevitable. What is not inevitable is to fold under the weight of these losses. Time is valuable, we've only got so much - it's important to use it wisely ... FEEL the LOSS and MOVE ON (it helps to find the car keys so you can drive to a friends house and commiserate).

There's no time to be wasting. This is the real thing. Happiness is a choice and sometimes effort is needed. We've lost one hour already - no need to be losing any more!

Cool Tip: Want to avoid that time consuming, frustrating, infuriating feeling when you're threading a needle and the thread gets all tangled up? Rub a dryer sheet on the thread - and it'll straighten itself all out. See you've got much more time to enjoy yourself already !!!!

Beth: You're changing that boys life.

Leigh Anne Touhy: No, he's changing mine.

The Blind Side

The glitter and hoop-la have mostly died down from last night's Academy Awards. What is left are the compelling thoughts that are raised by the nights nominated films. I did love Avatar, with it's message of self discovery, The Hurt Locker certainly showed heroism and commitment, Up fulfilled a life long dream - even if it took tens of thousands of balloons to get there. But none more affected me than The Blind Side.

Leigh Anne Touhy had such caring, heart and compassion. She truly was blind to color, comments or criticism. She dug deep and truly changed the life of a young man, whose outcome could easily have gone another way. There are lessons to be learned from Hollywood, and this year proved to be a Master Class.

Cool Tip: Every wonder how those Hollywood Stars keep their plunging necklines intact?

Top Stick (available in Beauty Supply Stores), originally a toupee tape ... now widely used for all of types things!!

And The Winner Is?

Neytiri: To become "taronyu, hunter, you must
choose your own Ikran and he must also choose you.

Jake Sully: When?

Neytiri: When you are ready.

Avatar

With this town gearing up for the Academy Awards, I'm reminded of how it feels to be a winner and how it feels to be that loser. Losing isn't the best position, but honestly it's part of the game of life ... and if we attach too much to either winning or losing, we miss the opportunity to experience the game in the first place. I do wonder how those losers (with big TV cameras on them), clap and smile and look SO unfazed !

I personally need a moment to regroup after a disappointment ... but hopefully the regroup doesn't take very long! As Neytiri says in Avatar ... "when you are ready" ... so in life really. Being ready for whatever presents itself is key to the amount of grace that we handle situations with.

We're all winners ... really .. award or not!

Cool Tip: If you find yourself at the Academy Awards (or any other leg revealing event), during the long winter ... consider using L'Oreal Sublime Bronze Self Tanning Towelettes (surely beats a quick trip to the Tropics and costs less too).

Life is like a box of chocolates -

you never know what your going to get.

Forrest Gump

On this Valentine's Day it's easy to reflect on Valentine's past ... being crazy in love, having a broken heart (that you (or I) felt would never mend), helping a small kid make Valentines' for his/her classmates, receiving a special Valentine from that little kid (who in my case is all grown up) ... but one thing is for sure .. they are all varied, just like Forrest Gump says "you never know what you're going to get. Certainty is just not part of the mix.

So wherever you may be on this Valentine's Day - grab your loved ones and give them a big HUG all around.

Cool Tip: AND if you need some chocolate - go for it .. if you happen to get some on your clothes - forget those stain remover sticks or baby wipes or even Shout or Zout ... use good old dishwashing detergent - that's what gets the stain out. And if you're heart needs some mending too, have FAITH .. it will.

One shoe can change your life.

Cinderella

In Cinderella's case this was actually very true ... much depended upon her having the right shoe - or more accurately the right size foot. Circumstances certainly are a factor in how our lives work out, but more importantly how we create our circumstances and how we address them, are in my opinion, the real measure of our lives comfort and happiness.

We've all worn shoes that don't fit right - there is the school of dressing that believes it doesn't matter how uncomfortable you are, as long as the look is right. I totally get that - I've been pinched, rubbed, cramped, blistered ... all for the sake of fashion ... don't forget I was a fashion stylist before my transition to becoming a life coach. There are still times that I'd sacrifice my comfort for the right look (clothing wise), but what I've learned is not to sacrifice my inner comfort to appear something that I'm not.

Luckily for Cinderella, the shoe fit and she lived happily ever after. For the rest of us it may not be so simple. We sometimes find ourselves trying to fit into a job, a relationship, a life situation, without making the adjustment that would make us more comfortable and happy. (Don't forget to check .... there's give in all shoes).

Cool Tip for Packing Shoes - if you're in a relationship and your guys shoes are larger than yours - pack your shoes inside his - saves space and it's comfy for the shoes.